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Khyron

08.01.07

::Ouija Wuss Out::
I don't like to be so negative about Coast to Coast AM all the time. I really don't. It would please me to no end to come on here and write about how entertaining an episode was. Though wish as I might, every week it seems George Noory and crew manage to let me down with some monster-hyped show.

This past week, the disappointment fell solely on George Noory's Ouija board blow out. I think 'wuss out' is the better way to describe it, however. After building this monumental event up for months, Noory decided to back out at the last minute and not dabble with those daemonic Parker Brothers. The reason? To save us all from almost certain death and eternal damnation, no less.

All the while, I was picturing a leather jacket wearing hipster Noory jumping over the pits of Hell on an oversized planchette, shooting us a wink and a smile before we collectively turned off our radios.

For the record, I was in full support of George at the start of the show. Ross of the AetherTheories blog and Tim Binnall can both vouch for me on that.  I'm not one who cannot admit to being wrong, so let me also say that I thought Noory would go through with it and use the Ouija board. At the risk of sounding naive, I reckoned there would be no way that, considering his obsession-like fascination with the Ouija board for so long now, he would just drop the subject without a satisfactory conclusion or meaningful results. Meaningful this outcome was not, but I underestimated George's ability to pull out while making it seem like he was doing us a favor--like getting patted on the back and simultaneously bitch slapped, I was left equally confused and disappointed.

I am part of what you could call a younger generation of esoteric enthusiasts. With nearly half of my life confined within the decade of the 90s, I feel that sometimes I missed the boat when it comes to a lot of these new-age or spiritual fads. I've never owned a Ouija board; never wanted to. Heck, the only time I've even seen one in person was a miniaturized version on someone's keychain. And I'm confident that my experience is not unique. When discussing last Wednesday's show in a live chat, Tim Binnall, as usual, captured my sentiments perfectly: no one cares about Ouija boards anymore. And they haven't for years. Sure, there will remain to be those like show guests Jerry Edward Cornelius and Stoker Hunt who make a living writing about the board, but as far as notoriety in popular culture is concerned, Ouija boards are about as relevant Alf or The Noid.

Ultimately, this is just another example of how out of touch Coast to Coast under George Noory is from its evolving esoteric audience. Just as Noory's 'Into the Unknown' pilot was incorrectly paired with the Sci Fi Channel and geared towards a less...I don't know, simpleminded? crowd, I'm not quite sure what demographic they were trying to reach with this one.

In the days following the show, a couple of things have since dawned on me.

Firstly, although initially confident that George would go though with it, I realize now that he probably had no such intentions from the start. In the before mentioned chat that I was involved in on that night, the question was raised as to how George would describe his Ouija experiment on the air. It is, after all, a visually based game (or channeling device, or gateway, or whatever). In considering the required play-by-play commentary from Noory as the spirits spelled out various words to him, I'm almost glad he decided to pass on it.

And, secondly, who's to say these things even work? Open mindedness aside, I'm highly skeptical as to the legitimacy of the Ouija board. You hear of all these success stories about them being used by trained channelers to contact the hereafter, but, more frequently, I hear words of disappointment from those who don't get squat out of them. As Lesley so perceptively put it in her latest Grey Matters column, I think George intended to back out simply because coming off as our savior was a much better alternative to dead air or making it up as he went along--a move that would not only ruin his credibility, but that of the guests in the room such as Jordan Maxwell, who would then be torn between keeping Noory's favor and calling him out on his BS. Though considering the ass-chewing Maxwell gave George during the show for his recklessness, I think we know which way he would have gone. As it was, George dug himself a dandy of a hole on this one.

The final nail in the coffin for this show was George's explanation for his interest in the Ouija board. His story about his previously untold near death experience left me dumbfounded. The whole time, all I could think was that this was Noory's defining 'jump the shark' moment. I'm not sure if we wanted us to feel sorry for him or what, but the tale reeked of egotism and came off as phony.

Now that this Ouija business has come to a climax, I'm interested to see where George Noory takes it from here. I'd say he has pretty much lost any rights to bring the subject up again, but the cynic in me tells me that we haven't heard that last of this. Maybe next time he can test out the Blood Mary legend. I hear if you say it 13 times in front of a mirror...no, wait. I don't want to give him any ideas.

 

:: Dead End ::

Well, that's all for this week. I trust you enjoyed your trip into this shadowy nether-realm known only as the K-Files.

For the latest updates on the world of Khyron, bookmark http://www.khyron.net/. With content updated regularly, you're sure to find your fix for all things entertaining and paranormal. As always, feel free to send any questions/comments/suggestions to KFiles@khyron.net.

Keep your eyes peeled for the next  K-Files, arriving sometime next week. Later.

~Khyron, 2007.

Well, that's all for this week. I trust you enjoyed your trip into this shadowy nether-realm known only as the K-Files.

For the latest updates on the world of Khyron, bookmark http://www.khyron.net/. With content updated regularly, you're sure to find your fix for all things entertaining and paranormal. As always, feel free to send any questions/comments/suggestions to KFiles@khyron.net.

Keep your eyes peeled for the next  K-Files, arriving sometime next week. Later.

~Khyron, 2007.


Khyron

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