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Spring Cleaning : Time to Put it all into One Big Theory

This is what I think. About UFOs. About UFOs, aliens, beings, entities, abductions, cover-ups, mind control, disinformation, misinformation, UFO researchers, skeptoids, flying saucer movies, and high strangeness.

I don’t know what to think, but here’s what I’m holding onto for now:

There are really aliens from Mars and the Moon. We’re probably their descendants, or were created in giant glowing test tubes by them. They’re still around, our creators. There are at least two separate races or species or kinds, they possibly war with each other, or who knows. Either way, they all love to mess with us.

There are inter dimensional entities that exist on earth. Sometimes they mimic UFO phenomena. Sometimes they do it on purpose. Sometimes they have no idea we’re interpreting their antics as UFO phenomena. The aliens may or may not know about them, but probably do.

The occult. Magick. Adepts. Secret Societies. Ancient rituals. All tied in with “them” somehow, and a pretty good handful of humans are still at it.

The government -- ours certainly -- knows quite a bit about UFOs and aliens on Mars and the Moon, but they don’t know enough. Just enough to know they exist for a fact. Just enough to know, they cant do much about it. And just enough to know, that we all can’t know, for if we do, it’ll be bad. Not for us, for them. They tell us we’ll panic and won’t be able to handle it and religions will collapse. What will really happen is that we won’t be so willing to follow their authority.

The government -- ours, a lot of others -- have done mountains of work in making sure the public is confused and pointed this way and that when it comes to UFOs. Misinformation, misdirection, disinformation, planted information, spying, all of it. Phony news items and cover ups and mind control and all that stuff. They’ve done it, they’re doing it, they’ll keep doing it. Not much we can do about that either.

So far, it’s kind of bleak, isn’t it? But wait, there’s more.

Lunatic kooky tin foil hat groups like the Raelians, Scientology, the Contactees, Heaven’s Gate, are not quite all lunatic kooky tin foil hat-ish. There's some truth in there, some sparkly bits of actual answers to It All. Don’t be so quick to throw out that bath water. You’ll have to hold your nose while searching through their madness, but, just because they’re mad, doesn’t always mean they’re insane.

Flying saucer movies weren’t/aren’t responsible for the myth that pop culture “believes” in UFOs. Flying saucer movies were/are orchestrated to instill a low level constant buzz of acceptance about UFOs. Or at least an acceptance of what they want us to think about UFOs.

Alien abductions are real, although it’s not aliens doing the abducting. It’s us. Mind control staged events performed by our own CIA-NSA whoever agents. There may or may not be some actual aliens involved.

As long as UFOlogists, scholars, researchers, experiencers, writers, witnesses, Contactees, abductees, skeptics, debunkers, keep arguing over this theory and that theory, the validity of so and so or worse, picking away at each other for their bad manners, “they” are laughing their butts off at the rest of us. Especially that last part; they really like that. So please everyone, keep sniping away at each other and insulting each other in dreary quasi-intellectual ways; it keeps everyone diverted and off task.

And while there’s certainly a very hard core, at times obsessed, section of our culture (and world wide) that dedicates themselves to the UFO question, the mundane world -- every day society -- even if interested, even if they've seen a UFO or experiences some high strangeness in their lives, aren’t as well informed as the rest of us, don’t much care, or even if they do, don’t have the time. Including me. My house is a mess I shouldn’t be here blogging away about my UFO life; I should be doing yard work.

Even when I know what happened to me was probably the government’s sick target practice on a citizen and not an alien from Mars, I am still obsessed. Maybe it has something to do with the drugs they used or the microchip. (I kid, I kid.)

“They” don’t care. We can blog away and post on UFO lists and write books about cover -ups, complete with facts, with FOIA documents and all the rest,because not any of it will get on CNN, none of it will be believed strongly enough, or by enough people, for any of it to do anything.

The aliens don’t care either. They’re not nice, they’re not going to save us. Well, maybe they are. Or, one of the types out there will. We can always hope I guess.

We’ll never know the answer. Not as a whole. The world, as one, will never know. Impossible. By its very nature the UFO phenomenon escapes disclosure. Always has, always will. Bits and pieces of it will continue to enter our mainstream, but “the answer?” We’ll never get it.

So what’s my theory? Call it the Unified Bleak Theory of UFOs. Or the Cynical String Theory. No, too clumsy. How about ‘UUT?’ Unified UFO Theory? Better yet, ‘UUH” as in, ‘uh?” -- Unified UFO Hypothesis. That sums it up nicely.

None of this melancholy ranting means I’m suggesting we just stop and give up. It just means I have cramps and I need to take a nice long walk in the woods.

Just not alone.

Not that that would stop them.

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