Many, many years ago, when I young and thin and living in Los Angeles (did I mention many years ago? As in, decades?) I was invovled with very unhealthy relationship. This man and I were together for about three years. It was a sick relationship; abusive, mostly sick manipulative mind games but some physical abuse too, lots of cheating, -- just an overall unwholesome coupling. And while it was a sick unhealthy relationship, the sex was amazing. Of course, we were both in our early twenties. Sex is always amazing when you’re in your early twenties.

Ironically, we were both -- but he far more than me at the time -- were involved in metaphysical alternative teachings; Eastern philosophies, Castaneda, Uri Geller, the Seth books, OBEs and astral projections, etc.

What a strange juxtaposition that somehow just didn’t jibe at all: living in Hollywood, trying to a part of “the industry” (all that ‘I’m an actor” crap), abusing drugs, lying, cheating, abusing others both psychologically as well as physically and yet, he (okay, me too) believed he (we) were “spiritual.”

And yet, in the midst of this young hormone crazed tinsel town rush of unwholesomeness, there existed a very strong psychic bond between the two of us.

We played this mental game where one of us would hold an image in our mind, while the other would guess what we were picturing. Both of us did pretty well, but he did far better than I did with him. Almost every time he guessed what image I had in my mind. This made me feel very uncomfortable; I had to stop when he got too many correct images. (I felt invaded; truly invaded, and scared that another could have so much power as to literally crawl into my mind.) Which in turn made him angry; I wasn’t being spiritually brave enough, you see.

Clearly my uncomfortableness had to do, in part, with the fact that the rest of the relationship was mostly a harmful one. If we had been more positive it’s possible I wouldn’t have had these feelings of invasion.

Another event that happened involved Uri Geller. I was at a girlfriend’s house, and Geller was on the Tom Snyder show. Geller looked at the television camera and asked everyone to concentrate on clocks or watches that weren’t working. I went into the bedroom and picked up a watch that I hadn’t worn in months because it had stopped working, even after getting a new battery for it. I didn’t throw it out because I liked it so much, but couldn’t wear it because it didn’t work. I held the watch as Geller did his thing, and yes, sure enough, the watch started ticking, and worked from that point on.

At the same time, I concentrated on my boyfriend’s antique clock in his house. He had high up on a shelf. It had belonged to his grandfather, and it was an interesting looking piece, but he never used it because it didn’t work. A few days later, when I was over at his place, he casually mentioned that “it was the weirdest thing, but all of a sudden, the other night, that clock just stated ticking.” He took it down, cleaned it a little, and it was keeping perfect time.

There were many more of these strange and intense psychic experiences between the two of us. I’ve often wondered how it is that, in such an unhealthy relationship, two people can also have a powerful metaphysical connection?

Is it karmic, something to do with past lives? Possibly.

I think more than that however it has something to do with energies. Lots of potential there for both of us, but being young, abusing drubs and alcohol -- and sex -- (yes, it’s true, you can abuse sex, lol) -- blocked or “jammed up” our psychic energies. The strength of the emotions and our intent contributed to this. We were both emotional; and those emotions were all over the place, out of balance, out of check. Our intents were confused, and often negative, or at least, not very creative or positive.

And of course, we were carrying around a lot of very fresh baggage. Being so young, and coming from that American cliche of “dysfunctional families” we didn’t know any better. (I seriously -- quite literally -- thought being abused, physically as well as mentally, was perfectly normal.)

Why assume that someone with psychic abilities is always going to be positive? Or put them to good use, or know how to constructively use them?

The power is just there; like Nature, it’s indifferent, of and by itself. It doesn’t always come with a manual. Depending on an individuals maturity, background, and a whole number of other factors, that psychic energy can be used positively, or it can be misspent.

Fortunately, I grew up. (I think.) My “psychic life” has stayed with me, and, thankfully, the negative experiences I went through are, while regretful in many ways and unpleasant, were also learning experiences that have given me some bit of insight today.

Intent goes a long way towards the manifestation of this energy. I’m still discovering this every day. It’s amazing how many synchronicities, how many small yet special connections are made as a manifestitation of this energy when your intent is focused and positive.

I don’t mean a mushy-New Agey warm and fuzzy thing -- good goddess no! Not me, I’m not going there! But treating this energy with respect and a bit of honor -- nothing wrong with that.