Following his tepid success at the 2006 Winter Olympics, it should come as no surprise that Richard C. Hoagland will return to representing Cydonia in this year's Summer Olympics in Beijing.

My sources at the Olympic trials indicate that RCH stunned the judges with his breathtaking floor exercise during the gymnastics competition and showed stunning aptitude during the rowing event as well.

However, the return of Sir Hoags to the games of the Olympiad has not been without its controversies. NBC's Olympic host Bob Costas has already gone on record decrying Hoagland's representation of Cydonia as "a trick of light, shadow, and desperation for free air time."