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The K-Files


Welcome back to another week's installment of The K-Files. It's the first day of March already, and what better way to kick off a new month than with everyone's favorite paranormal re-cap?

This week, the Top Story covers a new video of America's version of the Loch Ness Monster. Next, I present to you a mysterious face of Elvis that has appeared on a receipt. Finally, I give my $0.02 on the healer they call John of God.

You’d better get ready, ‘cause here come the K-Files…

:: Top Story ::
That's our Champ!

Is There a Monster in Lake Champlain?

ABC News - Feb. 22, 2006

Residents near Lake Champlain in New York say they have their own Loch Ness monster. They call it Champ, and it's a local legend.

It is the inspiration for parade floats, T-shirts, key chains, minor-league baseball team mascots, and wild stories.

ABC News obtained exclusive video of something just under the surface of the lake that some say may be Champ. The video was taken by two fishermen with their digital camera last summer. Before their supposed sighting, they were Champ skeptics.

Basically, by now, I have given up nearly all hope that we will ever find the Loch Ness Monster. Except for just going through the entire Loch, quart by quart with a strainer, I think that if we were going to find it, we would have by now.

I understand the size of the Loch. I know its not a simple lake. But with all of the sonar tests, underwater cameras, and just plain old swimming around, Nessie must be pretty sneaky if he can stay hidden this long. Surely, if you can slip past Leonard Nimoy, you either a) have God-like skills, or b) simply don't exist.

Though not all hope is lost. When it comes to finding a new, dinosaur-like sea creature, there's always America's little cousin, Champ.

Champ, a mysterious creature spotted in Lake Champlain in New York, hasn't received nearly as much attention as its Scottish counterpart, but that doesn't make the possibility of its existence any less plausible. Though, again, the immense size of Lake Champlain will make such a discovery just as difficult.

So, until we get the nerve to start draining lakes, we'll have to stick to intermittent eye-witness reports and shoddy film and video clips. Cue this latest video brought to us by ABC news. You can follow the link above to view clips of the video interlaced with an ABC news report.

The biggest, and most interesting of the differences between Nessie and Champ is their size. Nessie is often depicted as a larger beast with multiple flippers. From the video, and what locals are reporting, Champ is more akin to a large snake. And maybe that's what it is. I wont claim to be some kind of animal expert, but a large species of snake (or eel perhaps) residing in the lake seems a bit more reasonable than some kind of dinosaur relic.

In any case, I'm sure the video will give the Champ merchandising business a bit of a much needed boost.

:: Ghosts ::

The King...of low prices.

Ghost of Elvis Appears on Office Depot Receipt

Could this be the ghost of Elvis? Jenna Cage, 30 was looking up an Office Depot rebate receipt when she discovered the ghostly image of the King strangely manifested on the receipt itself.

Jenna recounts the eerie circumstances leading to the discovery of the Elvis ghost. "Last month, shortly after Christmas, I purchased 2 laptops from Office Depot. There was a mail-in rebate offer which I immediately sent in after my purchase. I had not received the rebate check so I got out the copies of the rebate paperwork with intentions to call Office Depot so they can look up the status of my rebate.

As I opened the folder to retrieve the original receipt, I almost fell out of my chair! On the receipt (right on top) was an eerie yet unmistakable ghostly image of none other than the King himself, ELVIS PRESLEY!

Woohoo! More faces seen in everyday items. From Virgin Mary pancakes to George Noory toast, finding (or hoaxing, either way) these mysterious items has become somewhat of a national pastime. Or perhaps national lottery is a more appropriate term, as these pieces of useless nostalgia often make their owner a pretty penny at eBay auction.

With some of these mysterious-face objects, I'm at least partially amused. None of them are very definite looking, and require some interpretation, but this Elvis on a receipt doesn't impress me. First off, unlike faces finding themselves etched into burnt carbon on bread, this printed receipt image is far too easy to explain. This wasn't really a random occurrence of nature, as much as it was just a side-effect of using recycled paper for receipts. I find Chinese newspaper print on receipts occasionally, but I don't intend to sell them.

Granted, the use of the phrase 'taking care of business' appearing underneath the image warrants some respect, but I think some kind of line needs to be drawn between what we consider to be a valuable trinket.

At last check, the receipt is up to $108 (US) dollars. If you're a big enough Elvis fan, be my guest. But I think this one needs to end up buried in a box among other minor anomalies.


:: Mysticism ::

Miracle Healer, John of God of Brazil

GO Articles - by Ontonio Garza

Thousands of people from around the world diagnosed as terminal or incurable by modern medicine travel thousands of miles each month, enduring long international flights and exhausting bus rides to Abadiania. A small town in the mountains of central Brazil. They come to see miracle healer, Joao Teixeira de Faria, the man the people of Brazil have affectionately titled, "Joao de Deus" or "John of God".

Joao is a simple man of humble beginnings who devotes three days of every week to healing his fellow man without payment for his services.

I recall watching a story on this so-called 'John of God' on 60 Minutes...or 48 Hours...or 20/20...or some such news magazine. It was around the time of the debacle that was the ABC UFO Special, so interest in the mainstream for the paranormal was moderately high.

I don't remember much of the story except that it wasn't what it was hyped up to be. From what I had read about John, he was being toted as the greatest healer since Jesus Christ. Those are some mighty big shoes to fill, and frankly, from what I saw, he didn't even come close.

I was thinking you would just show up, he'd do his thing, and a few theatrics later you'd be healed. Not so. First of all, you need to wait in a very long line before receiving treatment. And often times, you're instructed to use various 'Western' techniques in conjunction with whatever it is John does to you. And even then, the treatment isn't guaranteed.

The above article, written by a man that escorts the ill to John to be healed, claims that millions of people have been saved. I wont try to knock their claims, or anything, but that number seems a bit high. I'm not opposed to faith/mystical healing, but from what I've seen of John's operation, I'm not entirely convinced, either.


:: Dead End ::


Well, that's all for this week. I hope you enjoyed your trip into this realm of impossibility known only as the K-Files.

For the latest updates on the world of Khyron, bookmark http://www.khyron.net/. With content updated regularly, you're sure to find your fix for all things entertaining and paranormal. As always, feel free to send any questions/comments/suggestions to KFiles@khyron.net.

Keep your eyes peeled for the next  K-Files, coming at you next week. Cheerio.

~Khyron, 2006.


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