02.15.06

Welcome back to another week's installment of this experiment in insanity known only as The K-Files. Sit down and strap up, because we're about to take a ride on the torrent that is internet-based paranormality.

This week, the Top Story covers the brilliant idea to make a ridiculously large airship. Next, I present what could have been a cool article, had it not been for its deceiving title. Finally, I've got an article that claims Charles Lindbergh is the reincarnation of Honest Abe.

:: Top Story ::

I liked it better the first time, when it was called Titanic. The Flying Luxury Hotel By Joshua Tompkins - Popular Science This is not a Blimp. It's a sort of flying Queen Mary 2 that could change the way you think about air travel. It's the Aeroscraft, and when it's completed, it will ferry pampered passengers across continents and oceans as they stroll leisurely about the one-acre cabin or relax in their well-appointed staterooms. Unlike its dirigible ancestors, the Aeroscraft is not lighter than air. Its 14 million cubic feet of helium hoist only two thirds of the craft's weight. The rigid and surprisingly aerodynamic body—driven by huge rearward propellers—generates enough additional lift to keep the behemoth and its 400-ton payload aloft while cruising. During takeoff and landing, six turbofan jet engines push the ship up or ease its descent. Ripped straight from the Coast to Coast AM headlines, I bring you this crazy bit of human ingenuity. First off, if you haven't already, please visit the above link to the article. To fully understand the absurdity of the situation, I highly recommend you take a look at the concept for this behemoth. I mean, come on, now. If I've seen Titanic enough (and God knows I have), I can only see this ending badly. And for what purpose? Why would anyone want to build, let alone travel on, one of these things? Frankly, I find the fact that a 747 can manage to get off the ground as a miracle enough; but now this thing is just pushing its luck. For Pete's sake! Its a two-football-fields-long, steel casket, powered by 14 million cubic feet of helium and hydrogen fuel cells. Yeah...no thank you. Light a cigarette in that beast and its likely to go thermonuclear for all I know. If you're interested in getting tickets for this flying deathtrap, it is expected to be completed near 2010. Good luck.

:: Ghosts ::

What a bust. Martial artist wants to fight ghosts David Casey - Pawtucket Times Neves, a veteran mixed martial arts (MMA) master and proprietor of the Elite Martial Arts Compound on Smithfield Avenue, has recently made some acquaintances who could put him at the forefront of a nationally-televised paranormal investigation. It all started when Neves, a self-described ghost junkie, contacted the producers of cable television’s popular series Ghost Hunters (the second season of which debuts on the Sci Fi Channel in March). So when I was scanning through the multitude of pages from which I gather these K-Files articles, my eye immediately caught the attention of this very intriguing headline: Martial Artist wants to fight Ghosts. Getting visions of sending a round-house kick to some poor ghost's face, I read the article with increased intensity. I was rather displeased, however, when I learned 'fight' was meant in a figurative manner. Aw shucks. Expecting a ghastly free for all, I instead get an advertisement for the Sci Fi channel's Ghost Hunters. And, you know, its not that I have anything against TAPS or their ghostly research, but that show is just far too boring for my tastes. Being a pretty big fan of the Sci Fi channel, I try to give all of their shows at least a chance, but Ghost Hunters is just lame. It's 60 minutes of walking around dark rooms, followed by a brief recap in which the two hosts show some pretty unspectacular 'evidence.' Plus, of the 3 or so episodes that I've seen, their conclusion is always the same: that there was no concrete evidence, but something may be going on. Which is, coincidentally, the basic premise behind nearly all paranormal topics.