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The K-Files


Happy New Year's greetings all you paranormal junkies out there. Welcome to the very first installment of the K-Files of 2006. Last year saw quite the evolution of everyone's favorite three-stories-a-week paranormal review, and I can only hope you continue to tag along with me and whatever '06 brings.

This week, the Top Story covers a dire portent of impending UFO doom. Next, I present to you my take on a recently observed explosion on the Moon and my $0.02 on our closest neighbor. Finally, I've got yet more statistics on ghosts, faith, and what it all means.

You’d better get ready, ‘cause here come the K-Files…

:: Top Story ::

All Hail Bob!



The Church of the SubGenius has announced that the end of the world will take place on Wednesday, July 5, 2006. In preparation for the fulfillment of this doomsday prophecy, the Church is requesting that all of its members participate in a bizarre religious ceremony taking place in upstate New York, during the final weekend before the arrival of the apocalypse.

Since its inception in 1953, Church founder J.R. "Bob" Dobbs has predicted that a fleet of flying saucers will arrive at the beginning of July to destroy the worldwide Conspiracy against the Church of the SubGenius, while all ordained SubGenius ministers will be rescued by escape vessels piloted by the Alien Sex Goddesses, also known as the Xists.

So, according to the prophet Bob, July will be a time of fireworks, barbeques, flying saucer invasions, and Alien Sex Goddesses. Yet despite how appealing that may sound, I can't help but laugh at the absurdity of this story and the so-called Church of SubGenius.

As if the name of this cult and of its founder wasn't a tell-tail sign of trouble, its target demographic certainly would be. According to the article, those being actively sought for recruitment include hackers, geeks, pranksters, blasphemers, and pornographers. One would think such a group would make quite the party, but believe you me, the clash of egos between the geeks and the pranksters would be legendary.

Frankly, I'm surprised such a diverse group of outcasts has been able to hold together as a cult since way back to its creation in 1953. In my experiences, outcasts find it hard to cooperate with other outcasts. One always tries to be the 'popular' outcast, which leads to all kinds of brutal in-fighting.

In any case, if one were to fear this foretold flying saucer apocalypse, there's some good news and some bad news. Bad news: only ordained priests of the Church of SubGenius will be saved by escape pods and allowed to fully experience the Alien Sex Goddesses. The good news: being 'ordained' simply entails paying the going fee of a mere $30.

For salvation from the apocalypse and the untold pleasures associate with Sex Goddesses, you'd be stupid not to do this.

For customer feedback on the Church of SubGenius and J.R. "Bob" Dobbs, look no further than a Time magazine poll that rated him the Biggest Fraud of the 20th Century. At least he's good at what he does...

:: Astronomy ::

Take that, Moon.

Nasa team sees explosion on Moon

Tuesday, 3 January 2006 - BBC News

Nasa scientists have witnessed a rare explosion on the Moon, caused by a meteoroid slamming into it.

The blast was equal in energy to about 70kg of TNT and was seen near the edge of Mare Imbrium (the Sea of Rains). The object that hit the Moon was probably part of a shower of "taurids" which peppered Earth in late October and early November. Understanding lunar impacts could help protect astronauts when Nasa sends humans back to the Moon.

One of Khyron's many side-quests and hobbies is amateur astronomy. Although far from the next Galileo, I do enjoy the occasional night under the stars with my trusty compact Mak telescope and a good pair of binoculars.

Often times, due to lack of time or the incandescent glow of the nearby Twin Cities, my viewing is restricted to high-power observation of our closest neighbor, the Moon. Though I think the term 'restricted' is a bit misleading, for the Moon, despite having become a customary body that many take for granted, is in fact one of the more complicated, fascinating, and awe-inspiring pieces of nature.

But is the Moon truly natural? Bringing up the theory that the Moon was instead manufactured or put into Earth's orbit artificially, I wonder if there's more to this Moon explosion story than meets the eye.

Having recently dabbled with Jim Marrs' Alien Agenda, I may be reading more into this than there really is, but perhaps this explosion is more in a chain of strange happenings on the Moon. There have been all kinds of stories about mysterious black mists, giant obelisks, and secret alien bases. So, hey, who knows?

I just think it's important not to forget about our seemingly not so active companion. For those paying attention, it provides near limitless fascination and intrigue.


:: Faith ::

Again, not quite sure how that works...

Religion loses out to belief in paranormal

Mon 2 Jan 2006 - Scotsman.com

PEOPLE are more likely to believe in ghosts and the paranormal than have faith in an organised religion, a new survey has found.

A research by the Scottish Paranormal organisation of amateur enthusiasts showed that more than two thirds of people surveyed said they believed in the existence of ghosts and supernatural spirits. This compares to only 55 per cent of the 2000 people questioned who said they had faith in a religion and believed in a god.

I've pointed out several similar statistics before in the K-Files about the gap between the belief in ghosts and a belief in a God.

Chock it up to faulty polling or what have you, but I don't see how such figures make any kind of sense. I'm under the belief that ghosts and God kind of go hand in hand. Moreover, the one kind of verifies the other. I thought that was the whole big deal about ghosts. They are a physical (well, sort of) proof that there is indeed an afterlife.

Or maybe the lack of polling results for religion is that it pertains to organized religion. I guess the wave of 'new-age' thinking is having an effect here. More of a "Yeah, there's ghosts, but that doesn't mean there's a Jesus" sort of thing.

I suppose that's the beauty of the paranormal, like all other beliefs, it's open to interpretation.

:: Dead End ::


Well, that's all for this week. I hope you enjoyed your trip into this realm of impossibility known only as the K-Files.

For the latest updates on the world of Khyron, bookmark http://www.khyron.net/. With content updated regularly, you're sure to find your fix for all things entertaining and paranormal. As always, feel free to send any questions/comments/suggestions to KFiles@khyron.net.

Keep your eyes peeled for the next  K-Files, coming at you next week. Tootles.

~Khyron, 2005.


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