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The Big Bolo Blow Out

(Or Binnall Invades Coast to Coast!)

RCH : "We met over lunch and I then was not the rabble rouser that I am now. I was more kinda like a mainstream guy back then"

Noory : "You mean you actually wore a tie, instead of that thing you wear at these conferences ?"

RCH : "That's right. Well, I'm ... New Mexico ... C'mon, it's the Hallmark of New Mexico ... Anyway ... it's called a 'bolo' by the way .... Anyway."

And with that, last early Thursday morning, somewhere around 1:30 am, I busted my gut laughing! Could it be?! Could it be?! Yes! Yes! It was! Noory called Hoags on the bolo!

When my nefarious grin subsided, however, there was a more important matter to attend. Yes, it was a moment of uncanny Coast hilarity, an off beat moment one wouldn't quite expect during an appearance slated to shill Hoagland's 20 year lead over recent ESA and NASA announcements of probable life on Mars and how Hoagy, for his part, has gone ignored and otherwise mocked. A frank, off the cuff moment, only capable because Noory is so comfortable with Hoags and Hoags is so unassuming with Noory. True, Noory has been attacking Hoagland's wardrobe every appearance with such frequency one would almost believe Noory is a paid agent out to wreck Hoag's psyche with repeated assaults on his sense of fashion; an unconfident Hoags is an inefficient Hoags. Of course, Hoags is so far off in his own hyper-dimensional world you could hardly expect him to be phased at all.

In all honesty, whatever respect Hoagland could have had with recent ESA and NASA findings is completely shot to sh*t when he starts raving about intelligent advanced humanoids living under Martian ground. Whatever genius might be behind his idea of Mars being a former satellite of a larger planet is dumbfounded at the mention of various frozen moon's in the solar system baring striking similarities to the surface of Cydonia. Hoagland doesn't need a hired character assassin after him-he fulfills the job quite nicely himself. Besides, would you trust something like that to Noory?

No, Noory isn't doing anything like that. He is, however, paying close attention to Binnall. Yes, folks, so far as the world of Coast to Coast goes, whether it be fandom, commentary, the fantastic forum, streamlink, what-have-you, Binnall broke the uncharted and previously considered unbreachable ground of mocking a guest on a personal level. Furthermore, Binnall did not only mock Hoags personally, he mocked him on the most intimate and superficial of levels, Hoags' most outlandish instinct for attire.

The mockery, a very friendly, playful mockery, brought on by Binnall's personal admiration for "Hoagy", began simple enough on this very website. Yes, it was the halcyon days of binnallofamerica.com. We young, hungry, and absolutely fucking clueless, but we pressed on anyways, in the vague hope that eventually we would "get it" as it were. Though the site has grown and continually found its direction, one item remains from those olden days: Hoagland and his bolo are always open for mockery. If we trace the foundations of the site and compare Binnall with his contemporaries, we will find Binnall openly mocking Hoagland's bolo when others were still only silently saying amongst themselves, "dude, what the hell is with that tie?"

One of Binnall's most hilarious works, near the end of 2003 was a wonderful short story-perhaps still archived-of a fictional rivalry between Hoagland and the World's Most Respected Ufologist*tm Stanton J. Friedman. In it, Friedman appears to denounce Hoagland's work, Hoagland responds by appearing again on CNN, rebuking Friedman's charges and pointing out he was wearing a real tie. (EDITOR's NOTE : Per Joe's request, here's the URL for that story A Sad Public Affair.)

The laughter was monument us that great day, and I bellowed in extreme enjoyment! But, Binnall's triumphant mockery of Hoagland's bolo would not stop there, numerous parodies followed, it was, however, in 2004 that Binnall struck a pose to invade the C2C and fantastic forum boards. Binnall, now riding upon crescent waves of confidence, openly mocked the bolo among Coast themed communities, to rising voices in bewildered agreement; they always thought the bolo to be ridiculous, however, none had dared bespeak these views openly until Binnall openly paraded Hoagland to be a fashion less fool, doped up on bags and bags of working class suburban raydon!

And so, Noory, after a full two years of Binnall laboring hard to break down the bolo-block in Coastdome, finally mustered courage to mock the bolo on-air. For shame Noorycakes! While we well appreciate Noory's mocking of the bolo-it was indeed some fine work!-we, like Hoagland to all other Mars investigators of mild lunacy, must insist Noory cite his sources.