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The rantings and ravings of superstar theologian, Joe Vee


Joe Vee's 2006 Coastie Picks

Episode of the Year : 8.12.2006, C2C AM Live with Simon, "Necronomicon"

Ah, we always have to go with the dark horse. The Saturday August 12th edition of Coast to Coast Live featuring Ian interviewing Simon, of Necronomicon infamy wins this years best episode hands down. Simon, whether a fraud or not, tells an intriguing story and Ian's obvious distaste for some of Simon's practices led to a poignant exchange between the two. Simon's tale itself is just priceless and at least a certain portion of it (the Necronomicon itself is still dubious) is highly probably in New York city. The idea of wandering occult pseudo Christian bishops engaged in illegally acquiring priceless volumes of arcane is worthy of the Club Dumas and fully part of our collective conscious of the Middle Ages.

Guest of the Year : Jim Marrs

Much as I've yet to get what the big deal is with "Rule By Secrecy" and much as I felt cheated by "Alien Agenda" (for the love of fucking God, man, what the bloody hell is the alien agenda?!), Jim Marrs surprisingly stole the soul from my heart for the nod of guest of the year. A keen combination of journalist, researcher, and sideshow promoter, Jim Marrs reminds us of the irreplaceable nature of "old school esoterica"-it's serious without taking itself so seriously, it's showmanship without devolving into a perverted circus. Alas, the torch is fading, and with the likes of Jim Marrs reaching closer to retirement, the day will come when the old school esoteric is sorely missed.

C2C Regular of the Year (minimum 5 appearances) : N/A

Theme Episode of the Year : Bilderburger Roundtable

Despite Noory and Co's last minute attempt to market this as the long promised Illuminati show, I think all seasoned conspiracy buffs and Robert Anton Wilson aficionados are well aware the Illuminati, in order to exist, necessarily is something more and other than the Bildeberg group. Regardless, any shot I have at hearing a reunion of Noory, Jones, and Marrs (when will they have a C2C Original Roundtable Reunion?) is always welcomed. No this wasn't full of memorable C2C moments, however, it was a solid, well put together and well paced episode and sometimes the best episodes are best precisely because they deliver the expected formula exactly as it should be delivered with no frills or suprises.

Newcomer of the Year : Simon, "Necronomicon"

Hands down, Simon. Recalling the long gone halcyon days of the Village occult scene in the 1970s, a moment in occultism that has long since twilighted and appears firmly resting in the grave. Simon's story, if even only partially true, is incredible and tragically poetic, both for the "dead names" comprising Simon's life and the underground scene of wandering bishops and occult book dealers. And, frankly, it's fun to wonder if Peter Levenda is Simon.

Richard C. Hoagland Episode/Appearance of the Year : 9.21.2006, Hoagland responds to "face on Mars" ESA pics.

September 21st, 2006-the Death of an Enterprise. This was Hoagland's personal 911. With technology superior to NASA's Mars Observer aimed directly over the head of Cydonia, ESA produced the most damning shots of the "face" yet, and this time claims of a distorting solar glare or horribly aligned angles just wouldn't cut it. Hoagland sounded about three drinks from totally loosing his shit and going down in history as C2C's first guest to commit a murder-suicide (poor Robin would have absorbed the brunt of his drunken rage). Okay, I've no proof he was drinking that night, but the man was positively shattered-a life's work gone up in smoke. Luckily, Hoags would find a giant robot panda head on the moon and we haven't heard even a peep on the subject of all things martian since. For all the UFO buffs out there, this was indeed a dish served cold has Hoagland reaped the bad karma from his "looking for salvation in the sky from UFOs"snark in bushels.

"Ian" (C2C AM Live) Episode of the Year : 8.12.2006, C2C AM Live with Simon, "Necronomicon"

See "Best Episode" pick for reasons.

Pop-In of the Year (1st Hour top of show appearance) : Hoagland on "Ian"

Well, Hoagy makes a deuce, and for the same episode no less! This year like last has been retarded by gratutus Hoagland pop-ins, with things breaching the unbearable point during the June 30th/July 1st weekend shuttle launch. Hoags, Hoagy, Hoags, what the hell were you thinking? Listening to Hoagland screaming at Ian "as science I adviser I have a responsibility to this audience to report on the pending doom of the shuttle mission," I had to wonder if anyone was taking Hoagland seriously, as I know I wasn't and it sure as hell sounded as if Ian wasn't as well. Which makes the "Death of a Hoagland" episode all the more satisfying. You got cockey Hoags, and life just knocked you off your walk!

The Coaster : Noory's post-vacation JFK "scoop"

In a year in which we've had more abrupt last hour open line episodes than in recent history, only one episode could be properly termed the coaster, only one instance could have the unique combination of awful, embarrassing, irritating and befuddling, only one man, could be so inept, so dumbfounding, so bewildering, so, NOORY, oh yes, it was everyone's favorite dunce moment of the year, as on July 3rd 2006 El Noro returned from vacation with a big scoop on who killed JFK, which turned out to be one of the same old asinine themes proposed for the last forty or so years now, not to mention the fact that he didn't actually go out researching or smoozing with in crowd, rather, he basically fed us a few lines he picked up from a drinking buddy at the airport bar.

Topic Specific Awards

Alt. Science Episode/Guest of the Year : Michio Kaku, 1.22.2006

January 22, 2006. The annual new year's CooCoo for Kaku had snagged this award even before Kaku came on the air. Kaku's speculations of the future, until they're ever proven even remotely possible, still qualify as Alt. Science, no matter how well grounded his science may be. If Kaku's projection of an atom smasher the size of the solar system capable of opening up a tare in our universe ten light years across, providing a transitus into a new cosmos, isn't beyond the fringe of science, then, dude, I don't know what is. Yet, what ultimately clinched this episode's placement-and remember, we're judging the WHOLE episode here, not just the science-was Art Bell's unsettling return after Ramona's death. Bell's powerful recounting of his last hours with Ramona were possibly the most surreal moments of radio I've ever heard. Throughout the night, one could detect Bell's desperation in the face of a situation that would surely should have defeated him. We were all with Bell that night, and this episode reminded EVERYONE (probably even those at Premiere) just how intergral the personality known as Art Bell is to this program. I think if there was one overarching theme for C2C this year, it was the reminder that Art Bell is still the essence of this show.

Alt. History Episode/Guest of the Year : Jim Marrs

Although by now Binnall is positively shitting himself with rage at this selection, especially given my less than impressed re-action to Alien Agenda and decidedly unenthusiasm over all things Rule by Secrecy, Jim Marrs' appearance discussing secret societies on May 16th gets the nod for Alt. History Episode of the year. True, there are holes in Marrs' constructions, however, the image I have of him on the phone delievering an interview on his front porch with an open flask of whiskey in his hand more than makes up for it! Again, the old school esoteric weren't schysters, they were showmen, and Marrs is a fine example of that.

Conspiracy Episode/Guest of the Year : Nick Begich

Sadly, Jim Marrs can't get every nod and Nick Begich finally takes home a Coastie! A veteran of the esoteric circuit (before Paranet shut down their links, I was listening to interviews from 1995 with him this past winter, great stuff) Nick Begich has contantly warned of the queit strides unknown government agencies have made in the arena of manipulating human perception through means far more sophisticated than Alex Jones' repeated cry of "psy-ops!" This year, for reasons still unclear, Begich was surprisingly active on the radio circuit with five appearances on C2C and numerous appearances on the giant swath of lesser known radio shows. Again, I may be a staunch defender of the old guard, but it's when veterans like Begich get active that one remembers what made esoterica so fun and so plausible the last decade and one learns what all of the new crop of authors and supposed researchers aren't doing that's shuffling flakes like the numbers lady and other new agey psychics to the top of people's listening and reading lists.

Ghost Episode/Guest of the Year : Lou Gentile

This was a tough one, but Lou Gentile gets the nod. Despite the over dramatics and despite my conviction a fair number of his recorded exorcisms are actually his voice forced through a processor, it was good to hear an east coast boy represent in a year which the north east's paranormal researchers seemed to be finally garnering some attention. John Zaffis was a close second, but I'm really waiting for C2C to have a year in which they showcase ALL of the late Fr. Malachi Martin's "inner circle" personalities. If anyone from C2C is listening, mark my words, do the research and jot down the names, then start hosting all of the people Malachi worked with in 2007. If for only this reason, the north east doesn't have much for UFOs, however, all things ghostly, demonic, and Church conspiracy are fully ripe in our neck of the woods. It's the traditional variety of esoterica, you might say.

Outstanding Accheivement in the Field of Cryptozoology : N/A

Not Applicable. You know, I just didn't feel it with Cryptozology this year. The new species of life discovered by hardly bolstered Cryptozology's case and the onmly real in roads with big foot was some hillbilly claiming he shot a "baby yarwin" in the woods of Maine, drove back with it handcuffed to the top of his car and tried selling it first to Loren Coleman and then on Ebay. This was a very bad year for Cryptozology. As far as episodes go, honestly, not since November of 2005's episode on the Mothman has there been much worth listening to. Sorry guys.

Prognosticator of the Year : N/A

Not even gonna go into this one.

UFO Episode of the Year : Charles Upton

Wednesday, February 8th featuring Charles Upton on the subject of UFOs, End Times and the AntiChrist. I had almost forgotten about this one until scouring through the Coast archives earlier. Upton brings a scholarly as well as somewhat mystical edge regarding the nature of UFOs and their occupants. Most enjoyably, Upton provided a break in C2C's long chain of "UFOs are our star brothers" type guests without lashing about like a southern Baptist unleashed. Mind you, Streiber's reunion with Art Bell gave this episode strong contention; as much as there is a part of me that wants to vault up the old school as much as possible (and Bell and Streiber is almost always a classic) the theologian and philosopher in me couldn't let this one leave without the award. Charles Upton is a rare character in the present breed of esoterica. His not the showman of the old school, nor is he the schyster comprising the majority of today's crop of personalities, rather, he is an example of a man with an almost encyclopedic knowledge applying his mind to the esoteric.