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Lesley

Grey Matter

12.18.7

Merry Christmas !

Christmas. We all can get pretty cynical about it at times or even most of the time. However, I have a feeling that only the blackest of souls truly hates Christmas. Sometimes even those that you think are the blackest of souls can be found happily celebrating Christmas.

For some it is the word some have trouble with, CHRISTmas. Although even for most of them celebrating with family and friends and hoping for peace on earth has it's allure so they just switch the name to something they prefer like Yule, Holiday and so on.

I admit, I have no problem with the word Christmas. I judge Christ by what he said and did according to the bible and not what some deluded Christians says he stood for. If I judge by the bible and he was the man told of in there, he is a cool dude and I have no problem celebrating his birthday.

Other people have other beliefs and religions and that is also fine with me. Heck, I will celebrate them all if given half a chance.

I think that most people, no matter their religion or if they have any religion, can understand, appreciate and celebrate family, friends and good will. If they can get past the buying, wrapping, cooking, giving, receiving and returning. Really that is the stuff that messes up Christmas. It isn't just having to spend your money, everyone likes buying gifts for their favorite people, it is trying to make that day perfect. Hoping that people liked your gifts, hoping your decorations were festive, hoping your cooking was good enough and so on.

I am not sure how many years Christmas has fallen to me to do. I am not complaining, it keeps me from having to drive. Still, every year I feel a little anxious, even though this is my family who would never criticize me. It is a big honor and still a big responsibility to be the one in charge of Christmas.

I can remember one year that was absolutely horrible. My dog actually nipped (not bit) at my little niece. That would have been no big deal if it were a small dog, but it isn't. She actually had to be taken to the hospital on CHRISTMAS and given stitches. At the same time some of my pipes had frozen and were bursting.

That just goes to show you that no matter how great you think you plan things, something can always go wrong. In real life that is OK for most people and we expect that, but at Christmas we so want and even expect things to be perfect. That was one of my most memorable Christmas' but not necessarily in a good way.

Also, there is a certain sadness associated with Christmas. I know that every year I think of those that I have celebrated past Christmas' with and that are no longer around. People and pets that I have loved dearly. I admit it, I miss my deceased pets just as much as I miss my family members.

I also think of my niece Jen, who lives in Boston. Sure we talk to her on the phone every Christmas, but it isn't the same as if she were here. This year I will also be thinking of my little niece Mina (yes, the same one who was nipped by the dog a few years ago), she is living in Chicago with her dad. Then there is one family member who by his own choice seems to prefer living on the edge, getting high and having no home, to getting his shit together and being part of a family that loves him. Not to mention all those who have "gone before." With my local family dwindling, sometimes Christmas seems entirely over blown and at moments completely depressing.

However every year, even the dog nipping/pipe bursting year, in the end it all seems worthwhile.

I am not completely sure why that is, but I think that even with the mass marketing of Christmas and other downers the message of love, peace and joy shines through for most of us. I can only hope that we take that opportunity to try to spread that message beyond our small circles and out into the rest of society and that we would keep a bit of it in our hearts to last the entire year.

Merry Christmas!

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